She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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