the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
