we're blogging at a bar
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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