Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
