guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
