This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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