i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
