they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
