she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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