I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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