She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
