Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
