Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I lost the right to judge tonight
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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