so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
this is an emotional support booty call
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize