Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
