JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize