haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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