I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
