just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
