I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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