is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
