It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
