After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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