Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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