I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
