the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
