wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
