HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
