We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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