just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She bit a glass in half.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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