i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
