This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
