I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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