Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
