I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
