Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
