Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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