Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
