Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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