I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
