i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
