you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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