just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
