you would pick up someone in the library
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
