just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My ass is underappreciated
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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