dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
