batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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