it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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