we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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