I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
