you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
