Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
