Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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