Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
