I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
