i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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