So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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