I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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