THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
