he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
