youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
