It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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