So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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